


This Game Was Not As Advertised

by adamant-cap (lokkelaufeysdottir), Kalaert



Series: Drabbles, Tropes [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Babysitting, Cute, Fluff, Gaming, Loki is Not Amused, M/M, Make Outs, thor and tony are dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 06:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3518966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokkelaufeysdottir/pseuds/adamant-cap, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalaert/pseuds/Kalaert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i><br/>Tony rolled his eyes and said amiably, "I'm going to salt and burn this game. I'm sending it back to the bowels of hell."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"No you're not."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"No, I am not, but I will in fact pay you to let me upgrade that sorry excuse of a code."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"What sort of payment would this be?"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"About three kisses and a banana smoothie."</i>
</p><p>
  <tt>  [AU where Baldur gifts Thor with a video game, so naturally he challenges Tony to a fight. Cute boyfriend fluff piece]</tt>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Game Was Not As Advertised

**Author's Note:**

> My wonderful roommate adamant-cap put this in my hand last night and this happened instead of sleeping. Then she bought me burgers and cookies. I think that's fair. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy guys.

It was amateur.

It was cringeworthy.

It brought fear into his heart for the baby programmers who thought this crap was solid groundwork for the future.

And yet...

It may be a waste, and a truly god-awful excuse of a game with a code that Tony could -- and probably did -- buttdial in his sleep, but that didn't mean he would just _let_ Thor win. Not after all the pretty pouting and the, frankly uncalled for, slandering of Tony's good name.

Well, uncalled for from Thor at least. He didn't really care what the jealous high school masses had to say.

Tony was many things, but he was no coward. He was stuffed full of bravery like Thor's mom's peppers were stuffed full of goat cheese. He was so brave that he was stupidly brave. Pepper said so. Tony was sure she meant it as a compliment.

Point being, he was Tony Freaking Stark: technological boy wonder, teenage father of mechanical marvels, smartest witch of their generation. He was a tactical genius and Thor would rue the day he --

“Hey, ok no," Tony shouted. "That! That right there is cheating, you dirty cheater! I am appalled!"

He shoved Thor with his shoulder.

Thor laughed, loud and mocking, as he picked off another one of Tony’s soldiers on the screen.

"At least make it a challenge for me," he said, grinning.

Tony lamented the lapse in judgement that blinded him to his boyfriend's villainous nature.

"This game is way too easy for you," Tony said. "I am terribly suspicious and aroused. This isn't right. This is so far from right. Where's your sense of fair play? Why do you have a _magical hammer,_ dammit!"

Tony could feel Thor shaking with laughter, as he was practically on top of him in a desperate bid to block the screen and salvage his frustratingly slow metal-clad army. His blocking wasn't working because, along with the unfairly good looks and sharp mind, Thor also inherited the full height and stature of the Norse gods.

"What - NO!"

As well as their sadism.

Tony swore as Thor's soldier swung his hammer and -- no shit -- _electrified his entire army._

Tony elbowed him in the stomach. Thor obligingly made an 'oof' sound even though Tony had seen what was under that shirt, and been struck dumb by the rock-hard glory.

He watched mournfully as the last of his soldiers staggered dead to the ground, then turned to glare at Thor, who stretched leisurely and draped his arms over the back of the couch. He looked like a blond teenage dream prince. But a deceptive one, Tony had totally seen the light now.

Charming, his ass. Cheating, more like. No wonder he'd been so eager to play.

“And what is my reward for winning this round?” Thor asked, lips quirked. He raised his brows and then waggled them. Mockingly.

"That -- you -- shame on you! That was a complete farce! You fiend!"

With a war cry like a walrus dying, he leaped at Thor, sending both of them crashing to the floor in a fit of laughter. Tony was not ashamed to admit they were actually giggles. He pinned Thor with both hands.

Well, Thor let himself be pinned, but that was almost better.

Sobering up, Tony frowned in feigned annoyance down at him. Just as Thor's smile fell and his forehead wrinkled like an oversized worried puppy, he leaned down and pecked him on the cheek. Instantly Thor was beaming again.

Tony rolled his eyes and said amiably, "I'm going to salt and burn this game. I'm sending it back to the bowels of hell."

"No you're not."

"No, I am not, but I will in fact pay you to let me upgrade that sorry excuse of a code."

"What sort of payment would this be?"

"About three kisses and a banana smoothie."

Thor pursed his lips in thought.

"What? What, no, what is that face, you shouldn't have to even think about saying yes. I make a mean smoothie, even Natasha thinks so. Do you know how picky Natasha is? Yes you do, and I am _gravely_ offended. For real this time," he added. Just to make it clear.

"I'm not sure I trust you with this game yet," Thor said gravely with a twinkle in his eye. "You seem biased."

"Oh come on," the great Tony Stark, reduced to whining; his father must be turning in his hundred-count Egyptian cotton sheets. "At least let me tinker with the suits of armour, make them faster. Less slow means you get an actual fight. You're hardly getting a workout right now."

"Well alright, as long as they don't do anything weird like fly or breathe fire."

Tony thought about it.

"Tony, no."

"I could make you fly too. It'll be totally fair, not that you'd know what that means."

Thor frowned. Tony could see him cracking.

"I'll even throw in gladiator armour and a majestic cape to sweeten the deal. Colour of your choice," he added, feeling generous.

Thor sighed, but Tony was on to him, oh ho ho. His childhood dream was totally to be a superhero.

"I can be convinced," he said slowly, flexing his wrists in Tony's hold.

He grinned and slid his hands down Thor's arms, giving those delicious biceps an appreciative squeeze, and stopped with his hands pressed flat to Thor's truly impressive chest.

"Hmm," he said, levering himself up, grabbing the discarded controls once more. "How about--"

For such a big guy, Thor sure was speedy when he wanted to be. Tony blinked and Thor was suddenly landing next to him, jostling him as he settled. His smile was bright and cocky and his eyes were impossibly blue and already mocking him in challenge. He didn't even know what Tony was gonna say.

What a jerk. Somebody ought to wipe that smirk off his face, preferably with kisses. Tony volunteered as tribute. His boyfriend was a really hot jerk. Who Tony was going to wipe the floor with.

Tony shook his head.

"Why does this feel like I'm enabling you and your bad video game etiquette?"

"Me? I am a perfect gentleman. I would never dream of forcing you to battle an opponent that's obviously too advanced for you. You may forfeit now, there's no shame in it."

"Shut up or I'll make you eat your words. Best three out of five?"

“You’re on!” Thor yelled, and hit Start.

 

Ha! Sucker.

He was Tony Freaking Stark, and after all his and Roger's death matches against Barnes and Romanoff, the dirty Russians, he had years and years of tricks up his sleeve. Victory was his. It was only a matter of time.

"Thor, bae, you are so going down," he said, "and not in the sexy way."

* * *

 

Opposite them on the couch sat four year old Loki, thoroughly forgotten.

He decided that he hated Baldur for buying the stupid game. He also hated birthdays because when Thor got them, he got really stupid presents. He hated his parents too, for leaving him at home to go to some stupid seafood restaurant and letting Thor invite his 'special friend' over. He hated Thor too.

Please, as if he needed a babysitter. Loki was almost five. He should be allowed to go with them. Just because shrimp was all-ear-gik to him they just left him behind? No fair!

Even though he hated shrimp most of all, he would eat all of it to get out of here. Every single shrimp in the ocean.

This was worse than finding the dead squirrel under Dad's car. This was worse than Thor pushing him out of the treehouse and almost breaking Loki's arm. This was worse than getting into trouble for sticking gum in his best friend's hair (Sif wasn't mad because it was her plan to have short hair).

This was even worse than when Baldur moved to Dorm Oom, like in Narnia, and Mom found his old gym socks under his bed. They were really brown and stiff like the dead squirrel. But they smelled worse.

If Baldur were here, this wouldn't happen. Why did everyone leave him alone with Thor and his dumb boyfriend? They were both gross and annoying.

Loki hated it. Loki hated everything.

Loki screwed up his face when Thor let his boyfriend pull his head down for a kiss, even though it was obviously a trick. After that, Thor's soldiers all died in a big explosion. Idiot.

Thor's boyfriend jumped up and down and yelled and waved like a dumb monkey. His beard looked really stupid. But not as stupid as Thor when he smiled at him like he had the secret of poptarts. He threw away the control thing and pulled him down into his lap to mash their faces together. Yuuuuck!

"Seng-ta-ment," Loki said in disgust, and left to go read comics in his room.

At least they weren't yelling anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> ` and sometime in the nebulous future, their mom corrects loki's skewed perception of events -- thor did snap at him for climbing when he wasn't supposed to, but loki fell on his own and thor tried to catch him`
> 
> ` loki feels a little bad about malicing his brother now`
> 
> `but he still looks stupid when he's all goo-goo over tony`


End file.
